Losing Time

How many of us lose time to insecurity?

Looking in the mirror and seeing nothing but the things that are less than perfect, scrolling through our apps and thinking of all the ways we don’t measure up.

I know I struggle with this a lot. A lot. Even with my husband saying, “Ya hot,” as he walks by seventeen times a day. He’s crazy about me and I’m still not convinced there isn’t something wrong with his eye sight sometimes.

This morning I woke up feeling pretty confident. I just got my hair done so I was looking forward to getting up, getting dressed and taking the world by storm. But some time around outfit change #2 my confidence was derailed by the sneaky negative thoughts that made me want to put my pajamas back on and climb back into bed. So, I picked up my phone a few more outfit changes later, defeated, and started scrolling, feeling rather sorry for myself. But then something struck me. I’d started this whole process over a half hour ago. I had literally lost a half hour of time, my precious time on my day off to insecurity. Because I didn’t feel good enough. Because I didn’t feel pretty. 

Hmmm . . .

It actually made me indignant. Here I was, a successful, smart and savvy woman letting this negative narrative dictate my day, steal my time and my joy. And who’s standard of pretty am I trying to hit anyway? I like what I see in the mirror, but even beyond that I like who I’ve become and who I’m growing to be. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. So what exactly am I not measuring up to?

So, I said nope. 

I put on the first outfit I grabbed, declared that I loved it, and marched out the door to take the world by storm like I’d planned (which mostly included running errands that I haven’t had time to do, eating and writing, but hey it’s my day off ok). I have things to do and places to see. I have memories to make and dreams to chase.

And so do you.

So, let’s be kinder to ourselves. I mean how many of us have looked back at old pictures and remembered how insecure we felt only to think, “I don’t know why I was so insecure.” And how much more fun you could have had if only you’d cared just a little less? Maybe it’s just me.

So here’s to caring less and conquering more!


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